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choosing joy / podcast / Season 7

Finding and Honoring Your Heart’s Second Home

In tying in with this season’s theme of “Intentional Comfort,” and the mini series on “Finding Home,” I’m excited to share about how finding and honoring your heart’s second home. The idea of having homes beyond the physical place you dwell is one that hit me in about 2004, when I attended a retreat at San Damiano in Danville, CA. It became clear to me that some places feel like home, usually because of the community or the connection I had to them. In this episode, I’m sharing a few of those places, what they mean to me, and how you can also find and honor your heart’s second home.

Here are seven things to consider about your heart’s second home:

  1. Take note of where these second homes are. You will likely know where they are intuitively, maybe a place with a special view or somewhere you find yourself drawn to, on a retreat or when you want to unwind.
  2. Visit them in person when you can. There’s something different about visiting these places that feel comforting and relaxing.
  3. When you can’t visit them in person, take a meditative visit. Sometimes I visit these places in my head when I can’t visit them in person. If you can’t sleep, think of one of your heart’s second homes. Close your eyes, and visualize the details and remember what it is like to be in that space. Do this in a mindful, intentional way, and allow yourself to notice what it’s like to imagine yourself in this place that you love. This is not disassociation or numbing out. It can be a powerful tool that allows you to center yourself when things feel overwhelming.
  4. Take note of what kinds of places you choose. Are you an introvert? Maybe like me, your heart is drawn to places that are quiet and comforting. You may choose very different locations if you are an extrovert.
  1. You may have a spiritual tie to each of these places that feel like home. For me each location marks a time or a place, or an event that was meaningful to me.
  2. You will feel different, and more at peace in this place. It may be that you are more centered, or more at peace. You will likely know that there is a different feeling when you arrive at these places, or even when you just see one of the landmarks of the space.
  3. Like everything in life, there is a cycle to your relationship with these spaces. For the camp I love: I have been a camper, a counselor, a director, and now I am a parent of a camper and a “camp mom.” These places also have a community that surrounds them; I have found that the relationships I have created because of these places have also been profound because I have something in common with the other people who love the place. Look for other people who love your heart’s second home as much as you do.

I think that as we come out of or whatever, this is from the pandemic into a new age the connections are what is important. There’s so much uncertainty right now. And yet there are a lot of solid things that our heart really knows to be true. I encourage you to notice the places that are your heart second home, that you cling to them, nourish them and hold the people that are connected to them, close to your heart as well.

Resources

Laura Joyce Davis on Jump Start Your Joy, talking about Shelter in Place

San Damiano Retreat in Danville, CA

Kennolyn Camp in the Santa Cruz Mountains

The Sea Ranch

UC Santa Barbara