I don’t know about you, but I often come up with an awesome, big idea, and then my brain churns it over and over and then “OMG this is going to take too much effort and what the heck am I thinking?” Something that started out small, and probably pretty easy, gradually gets huge and overblown, and my early excitement about it disappears.
Here’s a real life example. I have 13 rose bushes in my yard, and recently had the thought, “I’ll collect these pretty rose petals from the garden to put in a sachet for my dresser drawer” which became “I’ll sell millions of these on Etsy and corner the market on fresh petal gifts (and my house would smell totally awesome),” which then became “I don’t have enough rose bushes for that, it would take forever, and where would I get those cute mesh bags?!?” and then it turns into “there’s no use even trying, and I didn’t want that anyway. Boooo. Let’s go eat tortilla chips.*”
With clients, I’ve started calling this “end thinking.” It’s where you jump to the end conclusion, thegrand final outcome, and then, potentially overwhelmed by HOW to get there, fear or anxiety kicks in and you abandon that thing that started as a tender, usually simple, inspiration. And here’s the kicker – that first, tender thing that could bring us a lot of joy.
Fresh smelling drawers? The act of doing something nice just for myself? Yes!
The idea of taking on the fresh smelling drawers empire and wrestling it to the ground with only 13 rose bushes and no knowledge? No! I’ve already talked myself out of the idea, before I’ve even started.
Here’s what I suggest to my clients – what if that thing, the rose petal sachet in my own example, is just a rose petal sachet? It can be just one. It can be a 10 minute exercise in doing something sweet, just for yourself, just for the joy of it. Sure, it’s totally exciting to have big Etsy dreams, but there’s no sense in letting that rob me, or you, of what could be joyful, right now.
The trick here to to catch yourself, as you jump from the one small idea, to the next overwhelming idea.
Does bigger really equal “better?”
Is it really necessary to abandon the first idea, just because the “end thinking” takes it to a place that’s
What dream (small or big) has danced in your mind, one that could start super small and just be?
What joy can you find from letting it be the simplest version of itself?
Comments
30 responses to “How to Stop “End Thinking” And Bring More Joy Into Your Life”
I always jump to conclusions. I am so bad about that. Most of the time, I am wrong and love your tips!
I like keeping it simple to start… and just doing one step at a time. I can get excited about things, too, and want to jump in fully – but its smart to pace yourself!
Karen | GlamKaren.com
I always plan how things could/would possible turn out so this is a nice reminder to know that I can’t control the ending so I should just enjoy the ride. Great post xx Michele
I’m bad about this. However, it’s not small stuff that I trip over. It’s the big things, like losing weight, going to counseling or buying a car.
I totally get it; I’ve found that if I focus on whatever the “thing” is, if I do what I can for just this week (around weight), or if I just make it to the next appointment, or saving just this next $25, it makes it easier. So, in turn, I’m breaking the big stuff down into smaller steps, if that makes sense. 🙂
I do this all the time and it is not good because it ends up psyching you out which is obviously unhealthy! I need to live in the now!
I always try to look for the little pleasures in life. This is so important with things are going your way or the stress and strife of live takes hold. By finding joy you can push past the challenges.
Oh my, I can totally relate. I’m a go big or go home kinda girl. Sometimes it stops me from doing something because I get overwhelmed!
I so do that. I love jumping to the end without even starting out from the beginning. My husband complains about me doing that all the time. 🙂
I AM THE WORST AT THIS! I need to get better with my positive thinking! Its a work in progress!
I was like that since forever. Coming up with a brilliant idea and then blowing it away only because I overthink the WHY statement 🙂
I have recently mastered to have more control of my mind and always ‘be in the moment’ 😀
Your advice is super awesome in this regard. Thank you so much for sharing <3
Love this way of thinking. For so long I did the same thing. Then I said… what if… and my book was published.
I try and find joy in every day even if it’s a bad one. So important.
How did you get inside my head! Yes, always pick the tortilla chips when things are out of control.
Just be. Not everything has to be a THING and not everything has to be big. I take great pleasure in the little things in life and the now.
My mom calls it Golden ticket thinking. Like Willy Wonka, you are only happy when you get the golden ticket, you don’t care about the chocolate anymore.
If i get too excited with something I go overboard. It consumes me for a little bit till the thrill ends. Love your tips.
Wow, I’ve always dealt with this. Maybe it’s why I’ve never accomplished so much that I’ve wanted to. I’ve had an idea brewing for 3 yrs, and I have yet to act upon it! I know I really should though. It’s hard! I should figure out some beginning baby steps.
I so good at this…. overthinking and grandiose planning… Im getting better at it as I get older…these are some good tips! thanks
Wow! I think this way too most of the time. But the thing is, I tend to overthink and anticipate negative outcomes.
This is awesome advice! I saw the quote yesterday “You can do anything but not everything” and that really resonated with me. I want to do all.the.things and then get so overwhelmed that I end up doing nothing 🙂
I find that sitting down to list out the steps it takes to get to the goal is helpful; and then it’s key to focusing on one thing on a time is also good.
It’s a really a go to mechanism for me. I try and keep other stuff in the house, so I don’t give in to the power of the chips.
I have such a problem with that exact scenario. I make everything big. It can’t just be a good idea for something small and nice, it has to be bigger than that. Thanks for sharing.
I’m someone who always retries to find a positive even in bad situations. Now only if I could get my hubby to not be so negative all the time, that would be great.
OMG – this so hit home for me as I do this all of the time & it drives me insane!! I have quite a few GREAT ideas I am finally ‘starting’ to see what happens instead of jumping to the end ;0 we’ll see
One great quote I heard last year that really hit home for me was “are you letting your perfectionism prevent you from starting”. I tend to be a compulsive planner but poor at execution. Often times done is better than perfect.
I’ve learned this. It is what it is. Things will happen that are out of your control, you can’t change everything at this ery moment, so just let go and put it in God’s hands. I’ve been living by that for a while. Of course I know I need to take steps sometimes, but I know that there are steps to be made and that it’s not easy to just take a huge leap.
One of my dreams has always been to renew my vows with my husband. I sometimes think it’s too late and too much money to plan it but I think it will be beautiful if we plan it and reaffirm our love for one another.
[…] Stop End Thinking – I’d never thought of it this way, but I imagine this happens to a lot of us. Love this: “What joy can you find from letting it be the simplest version of itself?” […]