I’m Hereby Giving Myself Permission To …

– be lazy
– act a little crazy
– be mad that the last year has not been what I chose or even what I tried to make it 
– see that there is good in the bad
– “lean in” to boundaries which is the opposite of the stupid Sheryl Sandberg “leaning in” not really care about the climb or the ladder or the executive world
– like Laura Ingalls Wilder and Battlestar Galactica and Firefly because they are all about discovering new things and living life on the edge of what’s known, and not being afraid to say its not easy
– spend time doing things I like and tell that one lady leading that getting ready for baby class to go jump off a cliff because we don’t have to stop doing what we love just because we become parents. 
We should do even more of what we love when we become parents
– follow my own path, even if I’m not altogether sure where that’s going to lead, or if it will please my parents or whoever the heck “they” or “them” are
– love the Franciscans and what they stand for, while still loving other religious ideas
– be fascinated by the impact of generations, and which generation we each are a part of
– want to help people figure out what they want to do 
– give more of a try at photography
– be upset about my current job
– own and live and breathe that I AM a retreat leader. I’ve already done it. Already living the dream. Now I just need to figure out how to do it every day

– say things are not ok
– raise my kiddo how I want to, and not worry about other people and how they raise their kids
– explore new things because that’s probably what those never-ending dreams of going back to school are telling me – that I need to find a new thing to do, to follow my heart and just go see what happens. I never really lived out “religious studies” but I spent so long studying it. I need to figure out what it means and why I have spent so much time with it
– get over other people worrying about what I do. or what it means about me. or what it means about them, or anything. I want to do what I love.
– talking about what makes me happy and just going for it
– speak my mind if something just doesn’t make sense and I’d suggest doing it another way, especially in any capacity in which I’m being paid for such an opinion.
– join a religious group or attend a church if that’s what I want to do.
– forget to send thank you notes, knowing full well that I really meant to and now it’s somehow way past the ok amount of time to say thanks, when I really love those people
– say no to the stuff I just don’t want to do
– be a mom
– listen to Fall Out Boy, The Shins, Jimmy Eat World and musics, and cry my eyes out every single time I hear “Goodbye Love” from Rent 
– believe that I have the experience to make it happen.