coaching / podcast / Season 2

Ep88: Four Awesome Ways to Find What Fits in Your Life

To round out May’s theme of “Finding What Fits,” I’m reflecting on four awesome ways to find what fits in your life. I’ve been so inspired by the conversations this month with Emilie Wapnick, Sarah Von Bargen, and Andrea Scher, who have all added to this theme. I’ve also been reading a lot, and wanted to share some of my favorite take-aways from Tara Mohr’s book “Playing Big,” and Pema Chodron’s “The Wisdom of No Escape.” In this episode, I share my thoughts on four ways to find what fits in your life.

1. Commit to Yourself
When I started my podcast, I committed to doing 52 shows. There was no set reason for that number, and I’ve since come to realize that most shows have a season that is not a full 52 shows. The magic was not so much in the number, but in the commitment. It got me past the slump that most podcasters hit, and got me into a rhythm. It meant I had to find a way to make things work, and I’m so glad that I made the commitment to myself to do it. If you are looking to find what fits for you, commit to yourself to do it.

2. See whatever it is that you’re doing as a “gift goal” and not a “should goal.”
Recently, I read Tara Mohr’s “Playing Big,” (and you should, too). She shares this amazing insight about people setting two kinds of goals for themselves:
– Should goals – are the types of goals that one goes after because they feel they “should.” Tara states that these goals are often short-lived because the motivation to complete them is somewhere outside of the person making it. These goals are hard to keep. They often require that we dig in, and when we don’t feel the desire to complete them, we often judge ourselves, feeling life we “could just get serious about this” that we’d complete the goal.

– Gift goals – these are the goals that are something we are so excited about that we are spurred on to do them, even when it’s hard, even when it seems improbable or difficult. In a gift goal, you’re so lit up by the goal (or some aspect of doing what’s needed to reach the goal) that you almost can’t help yourself. The goal is easy to reach because you want it so badly, and it’s so inspiring, fun, or energizing to work on it.

3. Trust in what Calls You
The other book I’ve been reading is “The Wisdom of No Escape” by Pema Chodron, and was swept away by her words:
“Nobody else can begin to sort out for you what to accept and what to reject in terms of what wakes you up and what makes you fall asleep. No one else can really sort out for you what to accept – what opens up your world – and what to reject – what seems to keep you going round and round in some kind of repetitive misery.”

Pema Chodron goes on to say that it’s by following those things that wake us up, that open up our world that we discover and follow our purpose. I feel that those things, that inspire and energize you, those are the things that can be turned into “gift goals,” and that by following them and getting curious, you can find our way to what fits in your life.

4. Find a Community and Support
As you embark on finding what fits, find others who are interested in (or doing) something similar to whatever lights you up. This grows your knowledge and offers inspiration. Family and friends are good for support, but finding other people closer to what you are looking to do is a different circle of like minded people.

Playing Big by Tara Mohr on Amazon
The Wisdom of No Escape by Pema Chodron on Amazon