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EP49: How to Face Change Like a Pro with Host Paula Jenkins

How to Face Change Like a Pro

Today’s episode is about how to face change like a pro. OK, so maybe that’s a bit of a long shot … even the pros feel the fear when they face change, but, I’m getting ahead of myself.

When you facing any sort of change, whether it be a something you choose (think changing careers, buying a house, etc) or something that happens to you (think losing a job, illness, losing a family member), you rely on “process” to get through the change. And before you glaze over because I’m using the coachy word “process,” I encourage you to stick with me here. This stuff is actually pretty interesting! What I’m diving into here is the idea that there are really two types of process, and why it’s important to recognize them and harness them to get through a change.How to Face Change Like a Pro. A post with ideas on how to face the fears and emotions of making a change in your life. Lots of practical ideas - click to listen, or Pin to save. www.jumpstartyourjoy.com

Process is both the “to do” list stuff and the emotional stuff

  1. Structural or External process – to get things done, I bet you often put something like a to do list, or a project plan in place, or you refer to an expert or how to guide to learn something that is new to you. Or, you’ve put together an outline for what you need to do each week, say, to promote your blog. That’s what I call external process. It’s something outside of you, something that has structure, and helps you to remember and do all the steps that you need to do to complete something. It helps support you.
  2. Emotional or  Internal process – when you’re looking at change, the harder part of implementing change is that you often have to make a shift in how you act, or how you feel, or how you deal with the emotions that come up for you around change. If you want to begin podcasting, for example, you need to learn HOW to podcast, but I also find that many of my students come up against a lot of resistance before they launch. They are afraid of putting their message out there, afraid of a new thing. So, to launch, they need to follow the process of launching a podcast (external process), but they also come to terms with the new emotions, and reactions (internal process). Internal process, even though it feels messy and can be scary, is also there to support you.

Emotions and Fear Pop Up When You Are Facing Change

In this episode, I look at the teachings of Pema Chodron and Geneen Roth on how “process” comes in to play when you’re facing change. So much of what is unexpected and hard about starting something new is what comes up for you, emotionally, when you take a risk. It’s scary, and it’s hard, and many times your default reaction to doing something scary or hard is likely to “run away” or escape, and that escape may come in the form of food, drinking, social media, gaming, sleep, avoiding things … we all have our own unique way to escape whatever is hard in life. (Mine is Netflix and tortilla chips.)

Once you can look at the emotions that come up, and be mindful of what the emotions are telling you, facing change gets easier. You’ll become familiar with your own reactions to what happens when you’re faced with change, and once you know what they are, you can also choose to do something else. Here’s another example: When I get stressed, I like to eat. I love tortilla chips. I love video games. I now know that when I feel stressed or I’m faced with change, I have the tendency to escape to those two things. Now, when I feel myself going for the chips or the video game, I can choose to go for a walk. I can choose to journal. I can choose to look at WHY I’m feeling drawn to chips  and video games.

How to Face Change Like a Pro with Host Paula Jenkins

The Stop, Drop, and Roll of Dealing with Fear When Facing Change

I offer a few ideas in this episode around what to do when you are choosing to make a change, but you’re feeling the fear around it.

  1. When choosing something to change, only pick the things that create a “Hell, YES!” reaction for you.
  2. Treat yourself with kindness as you feel the fear around making a change. Let go of the “shoulds” wherever you can around your decision.
  3. Baby steps are the best way to make progress.
  4. Trust yourself; even if it feels weird at first. You picked this change because it felt right. Trust that you’ll continue to make the best decisions for yourself around what to do.
  5. Do check-ins regularly to make sure you’re on the right path. If something seems off, fix it. You have permission to change your mind and change your course.
You have permission to change your mind and change your course. #facingchange #emotions #courage Click To Tweet

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Resources for this episode:
When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times by Pema Chodron (on Amazon)
Women, Food, and God: An Unexpected Path to Almost Everything by Geneen Roth (on Amazon)
The Flylady, Marla Cilley, Episode 46 (How to Form Habits and Routines)
Cam Adair, Episode 47 (On video game addiction)
Franny Burkey, Episode Episode 9 (Nourishing Joy when starting a new business)

What is your process when you face change? How do you cope with the fear and emotions that come up?

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28 Comments

  • Reply
    tp keane
    August 3, 2016 at 4:02 pm

    I love this guidance. For me, I’m ever changing, I hate the stagnancy of not changing. But I do see others struggle.

  • Reply
    Karen
    August 3, 2016 at 4:19 pm

    So many great tips here! Love the kindness reminder (we beat ourselves up waaaay too often) and baby steps. Great ways to tackle it!
    Karen

  • Reply
    Dawn McAlexander
    August 3, 2016 at 5:08 pm

    I have been through some major changes in my life recently. I prepared myself for them, because I knew they were coming. It really helps to be prepared. Now that it is over with and done, I am much, much happier.

  • Reply
    Di
    August 3, 2016 at 6:27 pm

    I used to hate change but now I embrace it. As much as I love routine, through meditation I’ve learned to be open to the possibilities available to me.

  • Reply
    Terri Steffes
    August 3, 2016 at 6:35 pm

    I am one of those lucky people who embrace change and sometimes desire it. I feel for those who change is an unwelcome process.

  • Reply
    Erica
    August 3, 2016 at 6:45 pm

    Tons of concrete steps… thanks so much for sharing! And since this is my first time here, just wanted to comment that your branding & design look fab. Keep up the good work!

    • Reply
      Paula
      August 4, 2016 at 11:42 pm

      Thank you Erica, I appreciate your kind words 🙂 and welcome!

  • Reply
    Amie @ Busy Bliss
    August 3, 2016 at 7:36 pm

    The emotional side of change is the hardest! I am a routine person, so it takes me a bit to accept change and see the positives right away.

    • Reply
      Paula
      August 4, 2016 at 11:43 pm

      Amie, I applaud that you’re willing to admit that it’s hard to deal with change. Baby steps are the way to go when you know you do best with set routines.

  • Reply
    Ashley
    August 3, 2016 at 7:46 pm

    Great tips! i love number 2 – I have a friend who says “excuse me, you’re should-ing all over yourself”

    • Reply
      Paula
      August 4, 2016 at 11:41 pm

      LOL that’s a great quote – and so true, when we get stuck in the “shoulds” it makes everything harder.

  • Reply
    Roxanne
    August 3, 2016 at 8:13 pm

    The best advice I received very early in life is to embrace change. It is the only constant in life. So far that has been a great philosophy!

  • Reply
    Toughcookiemommy
    August 3, 2016 at 10:12 pm

    Change can sometimes be a difficult thing to overcome. I completely understand as I will be embarking on a new job this fall and it can seem daunting sometimes.

  • Reply
    Yvonne Sowell
    August 4, 2016 at 1:08 am

    Im one of those people who cannot deal with change. =/ And moving to the USA is the biggest change of my life. Thankfully I have my husband and baby here with me to help me cope.

    | yvonnesowell.com |

  • Reply
    Reesa Lewandowski
    August 4, 2016 at 6:02 am

    Change is something that I don’t take with grace. I am terrified of big change and even still a small amount scared when it is just a small change.

    • Reply
      Paula
      August 4, 2016 at 11:45 pm

      Reesa, I think the key (and you’ve already done it!) is admitting that change is hard. It’s different. Sometimes it taps in to vulnerability. Then, it’s about extending yourself kindness and grace – both in feeling afraid, and in the smallest tiny steps you take. Each thing adds up. <3

  • Reply
    Heather Seeley
    August 4, 2016 at 9:56 am

    I think change is a good thing and I really appreciate strategies to deal with getting through it.

  • Reply
    Wendy
    August 4, 2016 at 11:23 am

    I am the odd person that thrives on change. I love it – it is exciting and invigorating. Great tips!

  • Reply
    Heather
    August 4, 2016 at 11:31 am

    This is all great advice. I think I am in the minority when I talk about loving change. I am always looking for something new.

  • Reply
    Ali Gilbert
    August 4, 2016 at 1:46 pm

    When my plans get changed last minute I get super annoyed and intense. I wish I were able to stop being like that. I definitely need to use your five steps to get through it…particularly #1- haha.

    • Reply
      Paula
      August 4, 2016 at 11:40 pm

      It’s all about the “Hell Yeah!” when making a decision 🙂

  • Reply
    Debra
    August 4, 2016 at 2:17 pm

    Oh man, I am so terrible at change. I love some change, but things like moving always get to me.

  • Reply
    Rachel
    August 4, 2016 at 8:20 pm

    I’m actually pretty good at dealing with change, or at least I was. Now that I’m older I’m more consistent in life and I enjoy the consistency too.

  • Reply
    Kimberly
    August 5, 2016 at 5:44 am

    Such a great reminder! Sometimes change is so hard. But that is life!

  • Reply
    Karen Coghlan
    August 5, 2016 at 1:47 pm

    Thank you for this useful post,,,, Just the other day I realized that I am not as equipped to deal with serious change as I should be… I need this thank you…

  • Reply
    christina aliperti
    August 5, 2016 at 10:59 pm

    I am so bad with change. It’s so hard for me to adjust to changes and i tend to be very emotional because of it.

  • Reply
    jessi
    August 7, 2016 at 5:13 pm

    So many great tips here and I love the baby steps. Great post and great points 🙂 Change is growth and we all need it in our lives

    • Reply
      Paula
      August 8, 2016 at 11:30 am

      Yes, Jessi, I am of a similar mindset – we do need change and growth in our lives 🙂

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